I feel so shitty...The house feels so empty now. It sucks. Normally I can just shake it off, but it's like impossible now, I screwed up too bad and I don't think it can ever go to the way it was. I hate being like this, I feel so alone...so lost. I guess its all my fault, I did it to myself. If I could take it back I would, But I can't. So now I'm in for the consequences, I'm in it deep now. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared whats going to happen to me, I feel so lost at the same time. Everything that used to be fun just isn't now. Maybe I'm being too dramatic but I cant help it. I try being happy, I tried everything that usually does it, But I can't live with myself now. I guess this is part of the punishment. Where did I go wrong? I was a "perfect" staright A student that didnt do anything, and look where I am now? My moms blaming it on her, but I tell her it isn't her but how do some kids turn out right and some not? Does it have anything to do with there parents? If it does I can't think of anywhere where my mom went wrong, I've been thinking about a lot and I thinks that half my problem, If I would just let it go and look for the best in it, I tried, But theres nothing. I'm seriously scared to get taken away from my parents, I was trying to ask questions about what will happen but they told me to shut up that I was under arrest. I felt better after I talked to Corissa yesterday though about it all, cuz she knows where I'm coming from, since she was sitting right next to me threw it all, and shes into as much shit as I am. My moms freaking cuz now I have a record and she scared about like getting a job, getting into college and everything. But they said it was closed...whatever that means, that like it won't show unless I do it again. Which, I won't. I learned my lesson in the worst way possible. I'm barely here, thats all I can really say. I'm here but my mind isn't. Theres nothing I can do either, If I go out of my room, it will be worse. I will walk in the kitchen for everyone to stop talking and look at me, they all look so disappointed and thats the worse feeling ever, knowing u let them down.