LizardKiss

I feel so shitty...The house feels so empty now. It sucks. Normally I can just shake it off, but it's like impossible now, I screwed up too bad and I don't think it can ever go to the way it was. I hate being like this, I feel so alone...so lost. I guess its all my fault, I did it to myself. If I could take it back I would, But I can't. So now I'm in for the consequences, I'm in it deep now. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared whats going to happen to me, I feel so lost at the same time. Everything that used to be fun just isn't now. Maybe I'm being too dramatic but I cant help it. I try being happy, I tried everything that usually does it

woo I'm at Tiffanys..shes leaving for Flordia tomarrow...which sucks...lol..we jsut got back from the movies..that was wickedly awesome...me and Derek are going out...again..lol... ugh...I'm inpatient...as soon as Tiffanys dad leaves for work were sneaking out with Mikey SImon and Derek and gettin high..ladee ladee laaa..i cant wait.. OMFG!!! I just heard a fucking gun shot...and we ran outside (yeah arent we smart) adn we seen a car speeding by adnb some person running REALLY fast...hmm..how nice...gotta love the east side...

Today was a total fucking waste...I didn't do a damn thing. I woke up, went tanning, and we shopping with my mom...oh the fun...I died my hair black..Its wicked...when i get in the light it turns neon purple...my sister said i look like the chick from The RIng..isnt she nice.. Jamie stayed the night Saturday..did the usual..Talk on the phone, listen to music, play guitar, walk to McDonalds and watch The OC like the OC junkies that we are... I have no idea what I am doing today...Tiffany was posta come over to give me my damn camera back but that little bitch went to Addys house so she could go to church..asked if i wanted to go..I would rat